Anal Sex: I Like The Idea Of It, But I Can’t Get Past The Pain

Don't worry. We'll get through this together.

Hey there folks! When The Doctor opened his mailbox this morning, he found an interesting letter from Meghan and Paul, a couple in the Western United States who have been trying to enjoy anal play, but Meg can’t quite get past anal sex pain — but she wants to, and that’s what Doctor Buttstuff is here for.

Hey there “Doc,” my boyfriend and I decided to write to see if you have any ideas. I’m very turned on by the idea of ass play, but nothing we try seems to work. We’ve tried anal “training kits,” anal beads, and pretty much everything you can think of but I just can’t get past the pain. I want to. Kinky anal stuff is kinda a huge turnon for me. No matter what I do, though, I can’t.

So far, anilingus is all I can manage but I want more. Please help!

This story makes me sad. Everyone who wants to should be able to enjoy the pleasures of anal play and I’m genuinely sorry that you’re having troubles. But of course it is no secret that anal sex hurts — especially at first.

So what can you do to lessen anal sex pain and enjoy anal sex more?

Unfortunately, there is no easy solution to this one. You’ve already tried many of the things I have suggested to others, but you may be overlooking something — maybe. I notice you didn’t mention desensitizing lubricants, which are specially designed for erotic anal play to help “ease things in” so to speak.

Another possibility is that somewhere in your subconscious there is a mental block that is preventing you from getting over anal sex pain. I don’t know how “down” Paul is for this, but have you considered pegging? Grab some supplies and “give it to him.” Maybe that will help you get over that hump. No promises there, but the worst thing that can really happen is that you either find something new to do together or decide that he doesn’t like it. You can of course buy sex toys and experiment with them.

Past that, try different anal sex positions. You might find one that works.

I can’t promise that any of this will work for you, but it can’t hurt to try. Hopefully, this will help you with getting over anal sex pain and enjoy anal sex more. Let me know how it goes!

Got a question burning in your loins? The Doctor is here for you.

Remember, as Doctor Buttstuff always says, safe play is good play!



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