21 Crazy Things People Have Stuck Up Their Asses During Butt Stuff

Don't let this happen to you.

The world is a beautiful and wondrous place — and so is “butt stuff,” but the important thing to do where anal play and the world at large are concerned is to make smart decisions. Floating around the internet are a bunch of x-rays of the asses of people who didn’t make smart decisions and somehow managed to get some pretty interesting things stuck up their butts.

From guns to homemade sex toys to regular sex toys to a fucking squirrel, these people had a lot of ‘splaining to do when they got to the Emergency Room.

Check out some of the craziest stuff people got stuck up their asses:

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Deodorant. Sure, things can get a teensy bit smelly in that area, but this is overdoing it a bit, don't you think?
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An egg. Just...why?
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An eggplant. Also...why?
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Zucchinis seem like fun and all, but if you shove them in too far, well, there is a "point of no return" and this person found it.
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Buy yourself something nice from The Doctor's shop!
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The Christmas spirit really got into this guy.
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Orange you glad he didn't use a banana? If he had, maybe you wouldn't get to have a chuckle at this gem.
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Coffee anyone? I don't know which is more embarrassing: that this person managed to shove a jar of coffee up there or that it was instant coffee.
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This guy's "secret squirrel" ended up not being too "secret."
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Need some help rising to the occasion? This will help you!
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What better way to remember the 80s and 90s than by playing some of the classics on your -- hey, that's not a tape player, genius.
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See? We don't need gun control. People are smart enough to -- oh, this guy shoved one in his ass.
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Anyone fancy a pint?
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Ever heard that Cannibal Corpse song "Fucked with A Knife?" No? Well, it seems pretty appropriate right now.
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Fuckin' magnets, how do they work? Obviously not like this.
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PSA: Aerosol is bad for the environment, especially if the environment is your anal cavity.
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This genius (and budding inventor) managed to jam a homemade sex toy in his ass. It may have felt good for a minute, but the look on his face when he realized he couldn't get it out was almost assuredly priceless.
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Here's a pestle. Let's just be glad he left the mortar out of this.
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The Doctor is genuinely sad to see that someone was too stupid to operate a rubber fist.
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This one had to be fun to explain. At least this person used the right tool for the job.
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Another "right tool, too much enthusiasm" situation.
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Here's a vibrator.
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This poor individual got a vibrator stuck "up there" and then had at least one failed rescue attempt before heading to the hospital to have it and some tongs removed.
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Crazy, right? It’s a mystery how half of this stuff ended up stuck inside someone’s rear entry, but this is the world we live in apparently.

Make sure this doesn’t happen to you. As The Doctor always says, “safe play is good play.” If you’re ever thinking of shoving something stupid inside yourself, feel free to check with the Doc first to see if it’s a good idea:

The doctor also wants to remind you that he has an entire store filled with stuff that is designed for people to use without explaining to their doctor why they have something crazy stuck up their asses. You should check it out and buy sex toys that won’t get stuck up your ass unless you really do something wrong.

Play safe and don’t try to stick a gun or a squirrel inside yourself for any reason. Trust the Doctor: don’t do it at all. If you feel the urge, call literally any friend so they can talk you out of doing something so monumentally stupid.

 

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