Well, Doctor Buttstuff has been busy but it’s time once again to reach into the mail bag and see what we have. This one comes from James, a 25-year-old guy in Parts Unknown, USA. James wants to know how to convince his girlfriend to try anal sex, but he’s encountering some difficulty — his girlfriend isn’t exactly enthusiastic about trying anal sex. So far, her rear entry is closed. But he’s hoping to change that and enjoy some butt stuff.
I’ve been with the same girl since a year before I graduated high school and the sex is great, but she’s not exactly adventurous. I really want to have anal sex. I’ve never done it and it doesn’t seem likely that it’s in the cards with her unless I get creative. Been barking up the butt stuff tree for a long time and she just isn’t interested in having anal sex.
What can I do to talk her into trying anal sex?
So what can James do to get to have anal sex?
Have you tried talking to her about how important it is to you that you add a little bit of spice to the relationship, James? I mean, if she’s not all for it, it’s not going to be fun for either of you. Not at all.
Obviously, I feel that everyone should get to enjoy having anal sex at least once but it seems like this is one time that you’re probably not going to get what you want unless she has a change of heart. If she’s worried it will hurt, there are a few things you can do like pick up an anal trainer kit to help prepare her if she’s willing to try some butt stuff (if you want to buy sex toys, be sure to check out Doctor Buttstuff’s Anal Emporium if you don’t mind the shameless plug).
You can also pick up some desensitizing lube to help ease things along. If she’s willing to try anal sex, be sure to use lots of lube.
Eat her out. Relaxation is good and I don’t know a single person who isn’t relaxed after oral sex — and given her reticence, if you fuck this up you’re not going to have anal sex again anytime soon if you don’t make sure she enjoys it. Buy massage oil and give her a backrub. Work up to it.
As mentioned, be sure to use lots of lube and you should definitely try different anal sex positions until you find one she likes (if she’s on top she can control speed and depth until she feels comfortable having anal sex like a pro.
In the meantime, I’d recommend the Bobbi Starr pocket anus. Sure, it’s not the real thing and it doesn’t help you with the whole “knocking at her rear entry” thing but it comes highly-reviewed and it’s about about 20 bucks and will definitely be fun for you.
The most important thing is not to pressure her, because no one likes to feel forced. If you love her, you’ll respect her — whether or not she ultimately decides to try anal sex.
Are you having problems with anal sex? Want to try anal for yourself? Got any other questions? Doctor Buttstuff is here to help:
Doctor Buttstuff is here to provide you with all the information you need to get over your problems with anal sex — and remember, safe play is good play!